What happens to listening when you are triggered?

In communication, it is highly likely that you will hear something that you disagree with - sometimes passionately. It can be hard to actively listen in an unbiased way in those moments.

When triggered, we have a hard time hearing what the person is actually trying to say because we hear them through the lens of our own response.

So for example, in our minds, we focus on all the things we feel the person is wrong about, or ways we can counter what they are saying. This means we are not taking in what the person is saying anymore, but focusing on our own response.

  • Click to view the key takeaways on active listening when triggered.

  • Active listening requires conscious practice to stay focused when navigating multilayered discussions. Personal triggers can impact your ability to listen actively, sometimes causing you to steer the dialogue in certain directions while avoiding others.

  • Some perspectives could remain unnoticed, subconsciously distorted or overrated, and the pure communication flow would be potentially disrupted.

  • Triggers tend to catapult us instantly into highly emotional reactions, often way out of proportion to the stimulus, the event itself.

  • Different types of strong emotional responses, whether they are so-called positive or negative, can have the same effect on active listening.

  • Despite the fact that triggers are deeply wired into our experiences and it is challenging to think clearly, you can learn how to manage yourself and help your neo-cortex to re-establish control quickly.

  • Self-awareness plays an indispensable role in understanding what and why causes some emotional reactions. Allow the triggering storm to be noticed and pass before moving forward.